No more counting and restricting?

February has been an interesting month, and a lot of it has revolved around Bryn. Which I will be updating in another blog post soon!

This month I have really taken a step back and looked at myself after starting out the month with gusto and then falling again! I'm still reading and absorbing the book Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. Its been a great book and really teaching me how to go to God with my issues. I've also really done a lot better with personal devotions and listening to some Preacher podcasts and videos and such, and spiritually February has been a month of growth! I'm really trying to listen to God and let him guide my health journey. I had another fertility doctor appointment to go to, and I was on the fence about going. I am soo close to ovulating on my own... sooo close! I have acquired soooo much holistic knowledge and guidance with gut health, and hormone health and how to heal my PCOS. Its just a matter of consistency at this point. And I see so much progress and so much happening! God is the glue I am needing to really fill in those gaps. He is my strength when I am weak. And I am not calling  him. I am not relying on him. I spend way more time stressed and worried than I do in prayer. I am working on this. And I am seeing things come together. So when the doc canceled her appointment with me I chose to take it as my sign and just have faith God is working on me and pregnancy will come in his perfect timing. He is leading down a holistic journey and its for a reason. I am just going to have faith and be obedient in his calling.

I have stopped counting and restricting.... you heard me right.... I like the goals I have set for myself but I stopped obsessively counting. I am more or less logging to check in with myself on occasion to see how close I am getting to my goals. I know the foods I want to be eating and the foods I don't want to be eating. I am just doing the best I can. And calling on God's strength when I am struggling. I have actually been more consistent and successful than I ever have. I'm not doing the best I ever have. Because when I'm perfect that leads to lulls where I fall off the perfect wagon and those falls mean old habbits come flooding in. I'm just trying my best and accepting I'm not perfect. And I really don't want to eat gluten because I know what gluten does to my body and my insulin. And because its not a restriction rule that makes or breaks me I am choosing to not eat gluten because I just don't want it in my body. NOT because I CANT. Because I can if that is what I think I need at the moment.

Make sense?

Its a shift in mind frame I guess. I think its much healthier. Its also much slower results. But ever lasting changes of habits and thoughts and ways of doing things. Dani Spies (from Clean and Delicious) has really inspired this teaching that I am feeling from with in now.

As  mentioned above Bryn has inspired lots of things this month. And in a nutshell we got some allergy/intolerance results this month that is life changing for her! And its really pushed me to make the changes I have already been called to make a long time ago. We needed this push and kick in the pants. We knew already its the path we were meant to be on, but to have blood test results to prove we need to cut this shit from our lives is a kick in the pants! NO GLUTEN OR DAIRY (casein) or eggs!!! Her egg intolerance tested mild. SO we have a little flexibility there, but we are going to try to cut these things from our diet 100% I shouldn't have them either with my PCOS (except eggs. they are a protein staple for me)

We made Bryn a special treat Paleo Chocolate muffins (before we knew about the egg intolerance) But no gluten no diary. Next time we will have to try a vegan GF chocolate muffin.

Here is a picture of my plate tonight. Forgive the yellow lighting. I roasted some beets and made some balsamic glazed salmon and put them on top of the sautéed beet greens. It was delicious. For my hubby and daughter, who hate veggies, I also made some vegan risotto. Whole foods for life! I am loving it! And it feels good to feed my family!

Health check in

Well its been a month. And I didn't really start until mid January. I quit almosting and I DID. Now I did not do it perfectly, but I am trying my best. I am eating clean foods and no gluten or dairy, and I almost no grains. I am not getting hung up on the rules because if I think I failed then I will quit. So I just know my goals and I do my best.

I have had 1 all out cheat day. Including beers and bar food. I regretted that day from the moment it ended. And it took me 1 week to lose the bloating it caused!

Let me tell you its been a journey!!! I went through MAJOR detox and withdrawals for GLUTEN! You guys I didn't really eat that much gluten! But apparently I ate enough!! And if I wasn't eating gluten I was replacing it with rice or other grains. This time I'm trying to stay away from grains all together and eating moderate carbs. Under 100 grams of carbs to be specific. I was combining some liver detox supplements along with a natural laxative to help me detox and drinking 3-5 cups of dandelion root mint tea to help me detox as well. Also taking spirulina and all my hormone related supplements. Taking bitters, and enzymes, and probiotics to heal the gut in the process. I have fermented my own veggies and drinking goats milk kefir in my bone broth smoothies. all of this adding to the detox effects. I was an emotional mess!!! And I was NOT expecting that!!! I litterally cried and screamed in private for days! Most importantly I cried out to God. He came to me in these low moments and reassured me I would get through and that bigger better things are coming and this is part of the journey he wants me on. I was able to carry on and eating at home is getting remarkably easy!!! I still struggle with being out of the house or when I don't want to cook. I also still over eat and haven't had any weight loss. But my grain free low carb life is suprisingly easy! I still stuggle with sugar. Even if its a clean form I'm consuming too much and for a women with insulin resistance I'd like to consume as little as possible.

Calorie wise I'd like to stay under 1800 calories and preferably between 1500-1600. I'm trying to stay under 100grams a day of carbs. I am trying to eat more than 100 grams of protein and trying to stay under 75 grams of healthy fats. I'd like at least 40g of fiber, and under 40g of sugar.  There is no name for this diet. It is not a specific protocol. Its just the Randi way. After so much research and reading and wondering on all ends of the spectrum this is what I came up with for myself. Going forward I will pray on these things more and more and change what God leads me to do. I would like to give a lot of credit to Dr. Axe and his Leaky Gut protocol as well as Melissa Ramos and her programs for information and inspiration on how I want to go about doing these things. The macros and calories I came up with on my own through good old google reasearch. It is NOT conventional and NOT what a dietician would recommend. But because of the healing way of eating and needing lower carbs and no gluten or dairy and incorporating more healthy fats I needed to change things around from what they recommend. And I just am not on board with the keto way of life or low carb high fat. My body just does not feel good after consuming foods this way. So I am finding my balance somewhere in the middle.

I'm finding my biggest component to my life right now is God. If I focus on him everything else just seems to fall into place. I'm really learning there needs to be balance. Physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental health balance. And I am finding the way to all of these things is God. If I focus on my spirtual health and pray about the rest it just falls into place.  I'm reading the Book Made to Crave by Lysa Turkeurst. AMAZING book! I highly recommend it!