Words

Today as I was the feeling the heavy weight of stress and a screaming baby and the pressure of household chores and work..... I lost my good attitude. I ended putting in a show for my 2 big kids and put the 2 babies down for nap (all the kids I had today) and listened to a sermon in the background while I cleaned up the kitchen from the disaster of our morning.

our words speak life or death

God will only grant us what our faith allows. our future is in our own hands, and our words will profess our faith and display our hearts.

our words will bring life or death

our words manifest

our words can kill our faith or feed or faith.

The words I say around and to these kids I am blessed enough to care for directly impact them and will and can manifest their future.

you are so kind

you are so strong

you are so capable

you are so happy

I realize the same goes for my kids of course but also my HUSBAND what he hears me say and the attitude I have will effect him and his attitude and his actions and can make or break his faith.

My daily attitude and words do not always profess great faith or manifest great things

My faith holds me back by what I believe is able and capable. All things are possible with God.

It is through our trials that we grow. IT is trly thought our weaknesses that His strength shines. I am grateful for my trials. I am grateful for my struggles.

It will be unless God specifically wills it not to be and I trust in him and can leave my anxiety behind.

I feel God is working on something GREAT within me. I am so grateful.

there have been things that I feel God is not answering and I have been praying for years about. Today I realized it was because I wasn't listening to him in other areas in my life and His timeline for my life is what I want to follow. I will put aside what I am anxious to begin conquering and conquer what God calls of me first.

And today I realize my words and my attitude are DEFINITELY part of HIS plan!

Social Media Detox week 2

I'm probably going to disappoint you here. But after day 2 I downloaded an app called app detox.

I allow myself 30 mins on facebook. It unfortunately glitches quite often and allows me more time before kicking me off. I also will log onto my computer to check something that I want to check if I am out of time.

I do feel like a have a million times more healthy relationship with Facebook so I am quite happy with these parameters.

I have not limited myself to Instagram as I don't feel like it has a negative aspect in my life.

I have to remind myself that God wants me to get off my phone! Get off  Facebook in particular.

I do think I have gone back to a comfort zone of sorts. A new comfort zone, but I am still not reading the bible as much as I would like. I am not listening to sermons as much as I would like. I am not praying as intently as I wish.

I need to be a bit more purposeful in those areas.

Over all I am happy with pulling away the way I have. But I need now to refocus my attention not on other forms of entertainment, but to align my focus with God.

I am still a work in progress!

Social Media detox day 2

When God leads your path its surprisingly easy. I have tried on my own will so many times to detox from social media, and I was always unsuccessful.

I have very weak will power. However, it seems when God calls me to give something up it is surprisingly easy. Not to say it is without temptation or hardship, but just a new frame of mind that comes from within. God's strength. God's will. ITS JUST DIFFERENT.

Here's what I have noticed in just this day and a half.

• When I am looking to relax I automatically want to go on social media.
• There were a few things I legitimately wanted to check see and do.  I am trying to sit with these areas and pray over my boundaries with social media. I am still unsure on where this will leave me. 
• When I am waiting or on autopilot mindlessness I grab my phone and look for the Facebook app.
• I found I was 200% more tuned into the kids! I was able to just be PRESENT with holding my son instead of holding him and trying to look at my phone. I also did something that was harder with the daycare kids because it required more careful supervision, but when my mind wasn't split so many ways I was able to easily and not stressfully give this focus on supervision versus when my mind was split so many ways, I would set the kids up in very predicable boring environments so supervision was easier. I took them out of the house because I wasn't so preoccupied. I sat with my daughter outside so she could bike and play with her friend in the front yard (her favorite).
• I was more intentional with my free time. I did things like listen to sermons and watch a show I wanted to watch without split concentration. I blogged.
• We ate dinner as a family.
• I had more time to fit in the tasks I wanted to accomplish!
• My mind was much more free to think of healthier things. Prayers, intentions, goals, aspirations, and be free to hear that small still voice! 
• I was able to drink my coffee and read you version plans instead of scroll my notifications.
• I used my planner more.

 To sum it up my mind had so much less going through it and I found so much more time.

In this extra time I have been lead to work on my attitude and words. I feel lit on fire with the holy spirit. There is nothing more satisfying than listening to God's will. He is always right. Even when his plan is not what you had in mind.

Social Media Detox

Wake up check facebook while coffee brews
drink coffee scroll facebook
scroll facebook off and on as daycare kids come in and play
scroll social media off and on while daycare kids eat breakfast
scroll social media off and on while daycare kids play and the babies nap
scroll social media off and on while I am outside with the kids
scroll facebook  while kids eat lunch on occasion if I do not eat
scroll social media through all of the kids naps
check social media off and on while waiting for kids to be picked up
scroll social media immediately after kids leave
check social media and on during family time in evenings
sit on social media for hours after kids go to bed

Facebook is my main source of addiction. I do go on Instagram and snap chat. Those are much more brief and rarely bring any drama or anxiety and often can motivate me. But I can over do it there too.

All of the political debates and vaccine debates and the extreme hate an division amongst the people have really been a source of anxiety for me. Yet I can't leave it alone. It has even caused me insomnia.

I have realized all of these things are the ways of the world. My trust and faith need to remain in my God. I need to step away. I need to live the life God has called me to and to stop worrying about these ways of the world. I don't want to be completely ignorant and not pray over these things. But I do not need to obsess. God has called me to be a GREAT WOMAN OF GOD and I need to build my husband and my children up. I need keep my home. I need to build up my daycare. The career God has personally blessed with me to stay home with my kids and provide for my family all the while fueling a passion for early childhood development.

These things got lost amidst the chaos of the mind with 3oo things and stories and people and comparisons running through it. Time evades me as I scroll every spare minute of peace I have. What would happen if I collected and saved those moments of peace? Would I be able spread more peace? Would I have more patience? Would I better be able to keep up on the constant flow of house work? Would I take my free minutes and chip away at the pile of work constantly piling? Would I more carefully build the foundation for my children? Would I project the Godly peace and grace and gentleness my family needs to?

God has called me to detox from the worldly source. I need to take a step back. I am praying over the parameters of what the future will hold concerning social media.

Here I wanted to document my journey and discover what potential lies within a mind more free.