Let me start at the beginning. The only thing in life I've ever wanted even as a little girl was to be a mother. I found out quite young (my early teens) that I had PCOS. I always had irregular periods and hormone issues. They confirmed PCOS with ultrasound and symptoms in my early teens. So I always knew it would be difficult for me to get pregnant. I'm a pretty classic case of PCOS. So when I met my husband in 2007 we fell in love quickly and started living together with in 6 months. So crazy looking back~!!!! But I'm glad it worked out! I was open with him about my PCOS and my possible struggles with fertility. We decided to not prevent a baby and to just see what happens as we both wanted kids and 2 naive 23 year olds thought we could handle it if we had a child out of wedlock. We got married in 2010 and before our wedding I met with my first fertility doctor. Started on Metformin and progesterone and a SLEW of natural supplements. I started cleaning up my diet and my lifestyle and losing weight. Every doctors appointment I went to I would leave crying because they focused so much on my weight!!! I had lost 30 pounds, but they didn't have that on record so it couldn't be true and it wasn't enough. They were not going to start with trigger shots and Chlomid until I had lost 26 more pounds...... I was so frustrated. I was on my 2nd doctor, because my first became discouraged with my progress on metformin and my weight loss. She was so rude when she referred me to my specialist. I met with him and he was just as rude about my weight. He said, "you need to lose weight before we can begin the triggers and Chlomid. But being your cycles are irregular and you are still needing the Progesterone I am going to put you on Femarra. Femarra is a common drug used to induce ovulation in woman with PCOS. This will possibly help you to cycle and if you get pregnant it won't be ideal at your weight, but you are ok with that. SO here." I was allowed 5 refills. I'd take them on cycle days 3-9. I was not getting any monitoring at all because he didn't want me to fall pregnant at my weight. At this point I had been trying to get pregnant for 5 years. I was doing the cycle monitoring, OPKs, BBT's, CM charting, and prayed constantly. I was now taking 11 pills a day. With my Metformin, Progesterone, Femarra, Vitex and a slew of other natural supplements. I charted every day. I would message my sister and mother in law monthly with my ovulation prediction. I was going through a lot of stress with trying to buy a short sale house and it falling through after 6 months my condo was sold and we had new land lord that I didn't care for, my cats were having issues in a small 700 sq ft condo with roaming cats outdoors. I had quit smoking for over a year, but stress management was still very hard for me. My brother in law and his girlfriend fell pregnant on accident with their third child and it felt like a kick in the gut. I couldn't look at my pregnant sister in law. I had 3 cousins younger than me pregnant. Then my brother 9 years younger than me got his girlfriend pregnant at a very young age. I was feeling low very low. I couldn't look at my little brother. Then my sister and best friend got pregnant. She also had PCOS and had been trying over a year. I fell to my knees and bawled thanking God for her! It was so encouraging. Then I watched a video of them surprising my mom with the news and watching how elated my mother was it was like this dark cloud came over me. It was a dark cloud of envy. A dark cloud of pity. A dark cloud of pure depression. As my sister grew sick with morning sickness I grew sick with depression and envy. I couldn't stand to hear about her morning sickness, and to make matters feel worse I couldn't talk to my best friend about any of it. My family grew sick of me complaining and crying. Of course I wouldn't outwardly talk about the dark cloud of infertility following me around. But it came out in other ways. The sorrow leaked out of me from every angle of my personality. I cried out to God thanking him for my blessings and begging him to help me be more supportive of my sister and her pregnancy. I begged him to help me not feel jealous. I continued to walk and to try to get healthier. We found a house and our offer was accepted and it wasn't a short sale! I had 2 successful ovulations and I had 3 failed cycles (no ovulation) on the femarra. I had to use prometrium to re-trigger my cycle. I gave up hope there. I decided to just focus on moving and moving on from my depression. I was still cycle charting and taking my meds of course. And I did notice that I think I got a late ovulation. I emailed my mother in law and my sister letting them know. And I let them know that we baby danced 3 times around the ovulation time! SO maybe just maybe I would have an early February baby. We closed on our house and moved in.
My sister was the first person I told. Then I told my hubby and then we ran to each of our parents house to tell them. Best day EVER! I got a 6 week ultrasound to confirm pregnancy and update my due date I thought it was 2/9/13 based on sex timing and ovulation. Doctors thought i was due 2/3/13 based on my cycle length. I turned out to be a due date 2/14/13
I got lots of ultrasounds pregnant because I was considered high risk due to my weight. So in the end I got an ultrasound with pics to take home on a disk every week from 39-39 weeks. I loved seeing her sweet face! They thought she was going to be around 9 pounds!!! But they were wrong she was only 7pounds 10oz! We kept saying how tiny she was! The nurses were like shes not really that small. That makes me laugh!
My niece was born January 3rd. Which turned out to be not even 6 weeks before Bryn was born! God is amazing!!
Here are a few pics of my sister and I pregnant and my 1 with my little brother and his girlfriend. God had grace over my envy and granted me my miracle in which i did not deserve!
Below that are the pictures of all 3 babies born and the couch full of kids with their great grandma is of the 3 cousins and my siblings So 6 of us cousins had babies all close to each other. The baby train its referred to. I thought I was missing that baby train. But by God's grace I made that train! At the end I just put some fun maternity pics and some of her newborn pics! Thanks to my photographer sister! www.tgbphotography.com
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